وَلَا تَكُونُواْ كَٱلَّذِينَ نَسُواْ ٱللَّهَ فَأَنسَىٰهُمۡ أَنفُسَهُمۡۚ أُوْلَٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلۡفَٰسِقُونَ

(59:19)

Translation:  And be not like those who have forgotten God, so that God has made them forget themselves. Such are the reprobates.

 

I never thought that I would find myself wondering if I truly love Allah ((سبحانة و تعالى until now.  Here I was, investing my time in people that wouldn’t appreciate my unconditional appreciation, and passing time with practices that were not beneficial. I could not remember a single thing I had done for the one Who I would return to, the one Who my owns hands would testify against me before.

I have ignored the pangs of doubt that would emanate from my conscience whenever I would transgress a boundary. I lied to myself, thinking that it was possible that my desires could share a space in my heart with Allah ((عز و جل. Although I had forgotten Him, however, He hadn’t forgotten me. If it were not for His mercy, I would not have realized, one day, that all my investments had failed. All the time I spent on those people, and everything I contributed, was lost. It had meant nothing to them, although they meant the most to me.

Through my hurt I learned that only God was infinite. That He would never leave. That He would never forget. That on the Last Day, all of creation would vanish and that He, the Creator, would remain. That I was His creation, and all along, I ran away from Him.

Dear reader, do not chase anything in this dunya except that which will earn you success in the akhira. I do not claim that it is easy, but it is feasible. We must learn to find goodness and fulfillment in our worship so that we do not seek it elsewhere. I encourage everyone, myself first, to increase in evaluation of their faith and truly reflect upon what is in their hearts.

As always, Allah ((عز و جل knows best.